I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
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Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
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We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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