There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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