I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
