Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
