Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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