i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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