i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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