are you so shy because you have an std?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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