you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize