I hate your face
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
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I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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