no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
