She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
