dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
now i know why i became what i already was.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
