dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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