he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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