At least make sure they are 18
Why
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
