have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
