Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize