two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
