the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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