we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Its about making memories worth repressing
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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