I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
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