dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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