Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
