Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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