Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
