im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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