i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
