Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
