i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
