a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
