we made out on top of his cat.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
