she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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