My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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