When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
