He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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