today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
