you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
