After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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