Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i think we sleep fucked last night...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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