Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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