Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
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