Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
