just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
