I wanna bring you to show and tell
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
