but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
