I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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