Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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