I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky