She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
