Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
