I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
