Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Yo quero taco bell

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  (857): He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef (617): Yo quero taco bell http://tfl.nu/9ye7
  Replies (4) Good night (1020) Bad night (1303)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian

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  (616): David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview? (773): Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian http://tfl.nu/r8u6
  Replies (4) Good night (2641) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.

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  (603): I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight. http://tfl.nu/a6u7
  Replies (17) Good night (2892) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"

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  (310): i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto" http://tfl.nu/o359
  Replies (18) Good night (791) Bad night (4549)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.

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  (479): Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke. http://tfl.nu/d4y7
  Replies (7) Good night (2816) Bad night (1277)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.

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  (718): The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be. http://tfl.nu/vr33
  Replies (5) Good night (3558) Bad night (1378)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.

  (415): View more from California

  Why?

  (206): View more from Washington

  Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.

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  (206): My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now. (415): Why? (206): Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch. http://tfl.nu/7w51
  Replies (15) Good night (1882) Bad night (4483)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.

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  (812): You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down. http://tfl.nu/c4iu
  Replies (6) Good night (3242) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  oh. my. god. yes.

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  (360): i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life. (1-360): oh. my. god. yes. http://tfl.nu/jrnd
  Replies (14) Good night (6025) Bad night (1618)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..

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  (609): i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you.. http://tfl.nu/9nik
  Replies (11) Good night (2004) Bad night (1939)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.

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  (775): May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now. http://tfl.nu/3k9t
  Replies (2) Good night (868) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."

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  (971): I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob." http://tfl.nu/bamh
  Replies (4) Good night (491) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?

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  (724): On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone? http://tfl.nu/9ka9
  Replies (4) Good night (675) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.

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  (310): I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life. http://tfl.nu/0deg
  Replies (6) Good night (1296) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.

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  (530): There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect. http://tfl.nu/w4ev
  Replies (2) Good night (470) Bad night (167)

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