It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying