Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.

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  (410): You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone. http://tfl.nu/z0lf
  Replies (25) Good night (490) Bad night (1422) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.

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  (303): normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective. http://tfl.nu/9jpo
  Replies (28) Good night (5257) Bad night (516)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.

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  (905): We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth. http://tfl.nu/mgri
  Replies (5) Good night (6693) Bad night (543) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.

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  (919): Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd. http://tfl.nu/5f3i
  Replies (64) Good night (8738) Bad night (716) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem

  (914): View more from New York

  Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.

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  (914): Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem (914): Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty. http://tfl.nu/8j05
  Replies (53) Good night (7230) Bad night (2266)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.

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  (208): Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon. http://tfl.nu/yvgl
  Replies (6) Good night (1515) Bad night (529)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"

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  (513): You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea" http://tfl.nu/kx8t
  Replies (7) Good night (1912) Bad night (464) Order T-Shirt
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  (842): View more from

  we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone

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  (842): we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone http://tfl.nu/yvho
  Replies (11) Good night (2256) Bad night (748) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.

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  (706): I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today. http://tfl.nu/vvd3
  Replies (10) Good night (1960) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Apparently love is stronger than SoCo

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  (719): Apparently love is stronger than SoCo http://tfl.nu/rcou
  Replies (8) Good night (1034) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol

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  (814): Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol http://tfl.nu/gohb
  Replies (5) Good night (731) Bad night (445)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.

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  (515): She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers. http://tfl.nu/t1ua
  Replies (7) Good night (757) Bad night (403) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover

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  (231): Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover http://tfl.nu/r5rk
  Replies (4) Good night (712) Bad night (302) Order T-Shirt
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  (085): View more from

  I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper

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  (085): I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper http://tfl.nu/5ugi
  Replies (6) Good night (768) Bad night (150) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.

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  (860): Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage. http://tfl.nu/sckj
  Replies (3) Good night (213) Bad night (546) Order T-Shirt

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