We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?