you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.