Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
