I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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