You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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