Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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