hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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