Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
