Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
