Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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