Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize