Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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