Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
