butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Your tits are I can't wait for
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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