then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My vagina is officially offended.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
