I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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