He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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