Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
