More tranny stories later!
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
